At 74, Bruce Gardener’s home is anything but quiet. After 10 years of fostering eight children, he shares the challenges, laughter and extraordinary rewards of giving children a place to belong.
At 74, Bruce Gardener’s weekends are not exactly quiet. There are children racing around the garden, splashing in the pool and bouncing on the trampoline. Somewhere in the background, Bruce is in charge of the music, with the hits of the 50s, 60s and 70s providing the soundtrack.
It is a busy household, sometimes a chaotic one, but Bruce and his wife would not have it any other way.
For the past 10 years, the couple have fostered eight children, while also having five children and nine grandchildren of their own. Fostering, Bruce says, can be incredibly heartwarming. It can also test you in ways you never expected.
Giving children a place to belong
For Bruce, some of the greatest rewards come from the simplest moments. “When we sit outside over weekends by our pool and watch the children romp around playing and swimming, we get intense satisfaction knowing that we are giving them a life they would not have had otherwise.”
Behind those happy scenes are children who have often had a very difficult start in life. Drug abuse is a serious problem in Bruce’s community, and some of the children who come into their care have been affected by it. This can result in behavioural and learning difficulties that require patience, understanding and, at times, specialised medical support. Poor nutrition and missed immunisations can also mean frequent illness, doctor visits and hospital stays.
Bruce’s wife has her own philosophy when it comes to keeping everyone healthy. “Veggies keep the bugs away!” And, Bruce says, it works.
When hunger doesn’t simply disappear
Some experiences have shown Bruce and his wife just how deeply a child’s early circumstances can affect them. Two of their first foster children were a brother and sister who had not eaten for four days when they were removed from their previous circumstances by child welfare. For the little boy, the experience of going hungry did not disappear simply because food was now readily available. He would eat extremely quickly, sometimes so fast that Bruce had to help him when he choked. Even after eating two plates of supper, he would sometimes get up during the night and search for more food.
One particular incident has stayed with the family. After attending a party, the hostess gave Bruce’s wife the leftover cakes to take home. They returned with two Swiss rolls and several cupcakes, delighted that there would be something special to add to the children’s school lunches the following morning.
When everyone woke up, every last cake was gone.
The little boy had woken at 4am and eaten the lot. And then, remarkably, he still sat down and ate a full bowl of porridge for breakfast. It was a moment that might sound amusing on the surface, but behind it was the reality of a child who had once known what it meant not to know when his next meal would come.
Life with a family of ten
With a household of ten, socialising is not always straightforward. “We don’t get invited out and, in fact, don’t expect to,” Bruce says. Instead, family life revolves around church and home. Fortunately, home is where much of the fun happens.
The swimming pool has been a “Godsend”, as Bruce puts it, as has the trampoline. Weekends and holidays are spent outside, with the children swimming, playing and burning off seemingly endless amounts of energy.
And then there is Bruce’s contribution. The music. “All the hits of the 50s, 60s and 70s. That’s my job!”
It paints a wonderful picture of their weekends. A garden full of children, music playing, plenty of noise and Bruce and his wife watching it all unfold.
It takes more than two
Bruce is quick to acknowledge that they do not do it alone. Family and friends have been an enormous source of support over the years. There is also the financial reality of raising such a large family. The support received from the State, Bruce says, is “a drop in the ocean”, so the couple run a small guest house to help make ends meet.
Bruce describes his wife as a “financial wizard”, somehow managing the household finances while still finding ways to give the children experiences they will remember. One of those is a family holiday in George over Christmas. For a household of ten, that is no small achievement.
The rewards that money can’t measure
Ten years of fostering have brought challenges that Bruce and his wife could never have fully anticipated. There have been illnesses and hospital visits. There have been behavioural and learning difficulties. There have been financial pressures, sleepless nights and moments that have required extraordinary patience.
But there have also been swimming pools and trampolines. Christmas holidays. Music-filled weekends. Full dinner plates. Laughter. Family. Most importantly, there has been a safe place to call home.
For Bruce and his wife, perhaps the reward is best seen from their favourite spot beside the pool, watching the children play. In those moments, all the difficulties are balanced by something far greater. The knowledge that, for the children in their care, they have helped make life a little safer, happier and fuller.
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