Retirement is often described as freedom. But what few people talk about is the quiet. The quiet that arrives after children leave home, after careers end or after a lifetime spent caring for others. For some, that quiet can feel unsettling at first. Yet it may also hold an unexpected gift. In the stillness, we have an opportunity to rediscover who we are beneath all the roles we’ve played.
One of the precious regular yoga groups that I run is a women’s only 50+ yoga and coffee group, where women of a similar stage of life come together each week to explore mobility and strength through yoga, while finding community and support amongst peers. We have many conversations after class and one of the topics most familiar amongst them, is the adjustment of the transition to retirement.
For most women in this generation, they poured themselves into raising children, creating homes and supporting everyone around them. Then, within a few short years, life changes dramatically.
Children move away, often overseas, and begin building families of their own. The family homes, filled with decades of memories, are either deafeningly quiet or packed up and sold.
This poses a question that many people encounter later in life:
“Who am I when the roles I’ve held for so long begin to change?”
And, with this yoga group becoming a regular weekly/twice weekly activity, it’s started to create an environment of reflection. A space where perhaps for the first time in decades, they’re able to practice stillness – not trying to escape life, or fill time, but rather to just be present. The mindfulness, community and conversations have perhaps helped them to really understand what brings them joy now, in this chapter.
Which had me thinking… what’s being discovered here closely aligns with what psychologists describe as ‘the foundations of a happy life’, or the ‘three paths to happiness’.
The Three Paths To Happiness
The Pleasant Life: The simple experiences that bring enjoyment.
This might be coffee with friends, being in nature and watching the seasons change, conversations of shared life experiences.
The Good Life: Activities that fully absorb our attention.
This might be learning new poses, working on a yoga flow, concentrating on a tricky sequence, mindfulness practices. Moments where time passes unnoticed because we’re fully immersed.
The Meaningful Life: Feeling connected to something beyond ourselves.
This could be seen here in nurturing friendships, reaching out to support others when family members fall ill, sharing wisdom gained through life’s experiences.
Research suggests that when these three pathways work together, we create what psychologists call “the full life.”
I’ve come to notice that “the full life” has nothing to do with the big experiences, the expensive holidays or how full or busy one’s household is. It’s in the everyday things. It’s in learning to appreciate ordinary moments.
Stillness gives us the space to notice what’s already present. That pause allows us to see that the most meaningful discoveries happen when we slow down enough to pay attention to everyday life. To notice that in each day that we pull in moments of the three paths to happiness, our lives are full.
And so, I offer you a simple exercise: At the end of each day, ask yourself:
- What brought me pleasure today?
- What fully engaged me today?
- What felt meaningful today?
These need not be grand answers – often it’s the micro-moments that really make the most impact.
And perhaps it’s these moments of stillness, in noticing the richness already woven through ordinary days, that helps us find ourselves again.
Article by Candice Gale
Candice Gale is the founder of Honest Yoga, a Cape Town-based wellness business offering private yoga, retreats and bespoke wellness experiences designed to support people at every stage of life. A wife, mother, business owner and yoga teacher, she helps people navigate life’s transitions through movement, mindfulness and meaningful connection.
Her philosophy is simple: yoga isn’t about perfection – it’s about feeling better, finding stillness and creating a life that feels rich and purposeful.
For more information, check out the website or follow Candice on Facebook or Instagram.
